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Do your best and forget the rest!
A mindset to set you free.
I used to crave external validation. I needed people to like my work, my writing, and my art; anything I did was for the sake of other people. I focused on gaining likes, and shares, seeking the approval of others. Throw in fear of failure and rejection, and I had a textbook case of being dependent on others for my happiness.
Gaining everyone's acceptance was vital to keep me going until I learned about an idea that opened my mind to a new way of approaching life and showing up in the world—a new way to become comfortable in my skin.
In one of the coaching sessions, I explained to my coach how I started some projects and then stopped after a short time which usually came down to a fear of other people's judgment. When people's reactions were not to my liking, I felt rejected and discouraged, leading to a downward spiral of negativity, which is when my coach opened my eyes to another way of thinking.
My coach told me about becoming outcome independent and focusing on what I wanted to do, which was to share my ideas through my writing. I was so focused on the result of my actions that the actions I took were secondary to the outcome.
As my coach, Oli Anderson, put it:
"Outcome-independence just means that you "do your best and forget the rest" and that whatever happens, you know you'll be okay, because you're in touch with your realness and the unshakeability that this entails, so you can handle it, keep moving, and keep growing no matter what."
Once I understood this idea, I felt like my coach had lifted a massive weight from my shoulders. Imagine not having to worry about the end result of our actions. I could now focus on my writing and, for that matter, anything that I wanted to do. I was not a prisoner of external forces such as vanity metrics, people's acceptance, and their judgments. Now, I could do what I wanted and focus on expressing my creativity instead of taking it for granted.
This verse from the Bhagavad Gita touches on this subject:
"You have the right to work, but for the work's sake only. You have no right to the fruits of work. Desire for the fruits of work must never be your motive in working."
Let's focus on doing the best we can in everything we do.
Let's let our work be the reward for us.
Let's focus on practicing our craft.
Let's focus on seeking our own approval.
You can do this! We can do this! Till next time, stay strong!