Getting off the fence

A fence is an inherently restrictive barrier between two areas. When we talk about fences, the physical type usually comes to mind. These fences are put in place to keep people out of an area, but there is another kind that is even more pernicious: the fence within our minds, our mental fences.

Our mental fences keep us on the sidelines, placated with a false assurance that everything will be fine if we just stay as we are. Why cross the fence when everything is going great, and we are safe from the embarrassment or failure of entering the unknown?

I used to love sitting on my fence because it's a place I felt safe from the dangers that came with trying, living, and being in this world.

There was a yellow "Do Not Cross" tape plastered around my fence, apparently not to keep me off the fence but to keep me on it and away from the things I truly love to do, such as creating art, writing, running, and baking. I want to improve at these activities, but my progress seems slow. As a result, I get frustrated because I don't see the expected progress. My expectations are high, and I get dissatisfied and lose interest when I don't see much progress. After some time, I get inspired to try again, but I get frustrated because I don't see the results I expect.

The vicious cycle repeats over and over again.

For example, I love to make art, draw, and paint when I am in the mood, and as we know, if you do something only when you're inspired to, you'll end up waiting a long time.

In the back of my mind, I want to be good at drawing objects, people, and scenery, but I have not practiced putting in the time or effort

I noticed this pattern with my creative practice. As I observed the other activities I loved, such as running and baking, I realized that I was following the same pattern of behavior: I was on the fence and not fully committing to each one, and as a result, I saw slow progress. If we aren't fully committed to an activity, we won't try harder when facing challenges, which seems obvious now.

I had been struggling with my lack of progress for some time, and then I came across Ira Glass's interview below,

Here is the text from the video:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

― Ira Glass

In this video, Ira Glass discusses the gap between our skills and expectations when we start and how we can close the gap by not giving up and practicing the activity more. You can read more about the interview in a previous Friday Gems issue.

His words hit my fence like a sledgehammer. They shattered my little safety bubble as I realized what to do.

I needed to commit fully to my interests, double down on them, and be actively engaged in them.

Only through a commitment of mind and body plus consistent action can we improve our skills and close the gap between our skills and expectations to keep pushing toward mastery.

Of course, we can't fully commit to every single interest we have, and some interests are activities done when we have the mental bandwidth and time to practice. We do need to be realistic, too. This is not a call to make everything a profit-making endeavor, either. I'm talking about the interests that fulfill our creative souls and bring us joy.

Staying on the fence is a path to never tasting the deliciousness of life with its ups and downs, failing or succeeding, joy and sorrow, embarrassment and joy. We must get off the fence and rip the yellow "Do Not Cross" tape to drop the regrets, the doubt, and the wondering if we will ever be good at what truly interests us.

It's time to become active in our lives and enjoy the amazing journey that awaits us all.

Questions to consider:

• What does going all in mean to you?

• Which activities have you been on the fence and would love to dive into?

Take care, ✌🏽