💎 Friday Gems (Mindful listening, Personal Change, Strong Choices, and much more!)

The best way to accelerate growth is to embrace, seek, and amplify discomfort.

Oct 18, 2024

Take the opportunity!

There are times to think things through to make a decision but then there are times when you just need to jump on an opportunity that is presented to you.

But how do you quickly evaluate an opportunity to know how quickly to decide?

For me, if the opportunity aligns with an area of growth I have identified such as improving my presentation skills then any opportunity that comes my way, I immediately say yes. Whether it’s a lunch and learn, presenting my work to stakeholders, or any other type of presentation, I will say yes before my anxious brain has time to come up with excuses for why I shouldn’t do that and trust me my fight or flight reaction can can produce a litany of excuses.

So if you know you want to improve your skills in an area, decide now that you will say yes to an opportunity immediately so you don’t waste time overthinking or over analyzing your decision.

Just say yes first and next take your time figuring out how you will get it done. ✊🏽

On to this week’s gems!

In this edition of Friday Gems:
- Mindful Listening
- Why you think you’re right — even if you’re wrong
- States of Personal Change
- The Strong Choice Doctrine™️
- Being comfortable with discomfort
- Do The Right Thing - Metronomy - Wild Geese Remix

Mindfulness

💎 Mindful Listening

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
— Karl A. Menniger, psychiatrist

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our attention to the present moment through all our senses. Instead of being lost in thoughts of the past or future we can use our senses to be with what is right in front of us. Research shows that we adults spend about 45 percent of our time listening, which is more than any other type of communicative activity.1

The better we listen the better our communication and interactions will be which result in improved relationships.

In this talk, Dr. Tamara Russel who has written and spoken extensively on mindful listening provides good reminders for us to use to bring mindfulness into our listening. Dr. Tamara points out the common ways our minds wander and are pulled away during a conversation and how to bring awareness to our reactions to gently come back to the conversation with intention.

I recently shared a mindful listening exercise you can try the next time you make a cup of coffee or tea. Try it out ☕️

Source: Insight Timer

Mindset

💎 Why you think you’re right — even if you’re wrong

Source: Ted Talks

Personal Growth

💎 States of Personal Change

Advice

💎 The Strong Choice Doctrine™️

Hell isn’t other people. Hell is people trying to make a group decision. And decisions are fucking exhausting.

Fridays are wonderful.

They bring hope for a wonderful weekend full of rest and fun activities, that is, until it is time to pick a movie in our house. With three boys and us parents in the mix, it is nearly impossible to agree on a movie. After much discussion, unconvincing arguments, we land on a movie to watch but you can be sure at least one person is in a sour mood because their choice was not selected. Repeating this process each and every week brings a dread to an otherwise moment of joy.

But now there is hope for us!

In Mike Monteiro’s newsletter he shares an ingenious solution to the predicament of which movie we should watch. He calls it the The Strong Choice Doctrine™️ which goes like this…

The way we do this in our house is that a strong choice wins. We call this The Strong Choice Doctrine™. For example: if I say that I want to watch a movie, and Erika says “Let’s watch Invasion of the Bee Girls” she wins. I made a vague suggestion. She made a clear and specific one. The conversation is closed and Invasion of the Bee Girls is queued up. No argument. But what if that’s not the type of movie I had in mind? That’s on me. I should’ve made a stronger suggestion.

Here is a run down of the different concepts:

A strong choice is greater than a vague choice
Multiple strong choices leads to a discussion between a few options
Opting out to “read a book or do something else is a valid option if you don’t like someone else’s strong choice

The beauty of the Strong Choice Doctrine is that it can be applied to other decisions that could cause prolonged discussions.

You definitely want to read the full post for all the great nuggets of wisdom.

Source: Mike Monteiro

Wisdom

💎 Being comfortable with discomfort

Becoming a creature of discomfort can unlock hidden potential in many different types of learning.
Summoning the nerve to face discomfort is a character skill—an especially important form of determination.
It takes three kinds of courage:
to abandon your tried-and-true methods
to put yourself in the ring before you feel ready
to make more mistakes than others make attempts
The best way to accelerate growth is to embrace, seek, and amplify discomfort.
― Adam M. Grant

Music

💎 Do The Right Thing - Metronomy - Wild Geese Remix

Do the right thing is great mantra, and a great song by Metronomy. Enjoy a journey through the mind with the latest addition to the Low Fidelity playlist.